Who Walks Down the Aisle at a Gay Wedding?



Wedding traditions remain an important component of many gay and most straight wedding ceremonies.

So who walks down the aisle at a gay wedding? 

The short answer? 

Whoever you want.

What you choose to do and celebrate within your own wedding should be entirely up to you and your partner. Tradition shouldn’t be seen as something that must be adhered to or – in the case of LGBTQ ceremonies – adapted mindlessly. 

One of the best things about planning a gay wedding is that there are plenty of opportunities to customise both the ceremony and reception to reflect your own individual personalities. The important thing is not to let family or friends who are fixated on what’s traditional to unduly influence what it is that you want to do on your big day. 

Some people just don’t have the imagination for anything other than a cookie-cutter ceremony. You might hear people saying things like:

You CAN’T see each other before the ceremony

You HAVE to have a three-course wedding breakfast

But you HAVE to have a wedding cake.

You’ve GOT to invite children

You’re brides! Which one is wearing THE DRESS?

Your father HAS to give you away.

Incidentally, you can hear that kind of thing if you’re in a heterosexual relationship, too. People can really get stuck in tradition.





The only part of a wedding that’s a vital component is the legal part – everything else is just window dressing. Have fun, be adventurous or be traditional – it’s your day, after all.  


Who Walks Down the Aisle in a Gay Wedding?


LGBTQ relationships are all different.  

Some – however – might follow traditional gender roles more obviously. For example, a lesbian couple might be made up of one person associating more with masculine gender.  Perhaps, the other partner is more female.  In that case, you might prefer to follow tradition and have one wait at the front and one approach down the aisle as a bride and groom might.

Other same-sex couples prefer to enter together.  This is certainly what we’ve seen becoming popular.  Given that fewer same-sex couples are spending the night before the wedding apart, it makes sense.  Bride and bride or groom and groom get to experience the build-up and enter the ceremony – the beginning of married life – together is a beautiful nod to the joining of two people.

One of the most obvious choices is that you walk down the aisle separately one after another.  This works really well with a first-look photo shoot that could happen immediately before the ceremony whilst the guests are in their seats.  If you don’t want a first-look, then you could ask the venue or supervise each entrance so you don’t get a sneak peek.

If the venue is able to accommodate it, you could try for two aisles with each person walking down one towards the other. This way you both get to see each other approaching.




You might also prefer both being at the front when the guests file in. This would work well in smaller intimate ceremonies.

For some couples working out who walks down the aisle and who waits at the front will be easy. For others, it’ll be a conversation about who is comfortable being the centre of attention for that short time period. Other couples will have no doubt in their mind that they have to enter together or separately but simultaneously.

Find what works best for you and what best reflects who you are as a couple.

Once you’ve picked your entrance arrangements, it’s time to think about who will be escorting you down the aisle. But that’s another post for another time...

How did you and your partner step into your ceremony and was it an easy decision? 


Popular posts from this blog

Should I Propose at Christmas? (Spoiler Alert: Probably Not)

Image
There’s something relentlessly optimistic about the festive season: the gathering of family and friends, the gift-giving and peace-and-good-will-to-all-men shtick. It’s probably the proximity to New Year, too, and all those resolutions and promises for a fresh start. SO many Christmas films have proposals in them, too.  And what greater gift could there be than an engagement over the festive period? Well… It’s easy to get carried away in the spirit of things but Christmas engagements aren’t always a great idea.  And if you have to ask should I propose at Christmas , then the answer is probably no. According to a survey by event company Chili Sauce , men seem to like proposing on Christmas Eve  (woman aren’t quite so keen). Guess you lucky lesbians are off the hook… Only you know whether or not it’s the right time to propose to your partner but here’s why we think you should be careful. 1.   Don’t propose just because it’s Chris...
Read more

Wedding Fair or Wedding Fayre: Which is it?

Image
Fair or fayre? We got busted by a simple Google search.  And we owe you an apology. After writing hundreds of posts promoting wedding open days , showcases and exhibitions , we assumed that we had wedding terminology down-pat. It turns out that we didn’t. All’s Fair or Fayre in Love (and Wedding Planning) According to The Cambridge Dictionary, Fayre is: “an old-fashioned spelling of fair , used to talk about a traditional public event where goods are bought and sold and where there is entertainment: a country fayre” Uh-oh. We went back through some of our posts to double check what we've been using and... How to Survive a Wedding Fayre  Hadley Park is Hosting a Wedding Fayre And these weren't the only ones.  In fact, every single wedding event we’ve advertised (aside from those specifically marketed as open days) has been described as a fayre. Okay , we thought, let’s get a second opinion. ...
Read more

Gay Wedding Hashtags

Image
Creating a wedding hashtag for a ceremony and reception isn’t every couple’s cup of tea but is it really so ridiculous when most of us use social media to document and organise our lives anyway.  Gay wedding hashtags are one example of how same-sex couples are creating new traditions.  Planning a wedding when you’re LGBTQ often means navigating heterosexual customs and gender-based norms.  This is one way that couples (gay or otherwise) can embrace modernity and add a bit of fun to their ceremony and reception. Customising a hashtag for friends and family to follow across social media platforms is bound to raise an eyebrow with some guests who may feel that it’s a bit soulless, tacky or narcissistic BUT hashtags are so helpful in curating photographs taken throughout the day.   It’s great for the happy couple to search back through, too, and see a different side of the celebrations: a guest’s eye-view.    Another reason that it’s popul...
Read more

How To Make Small Talk At Weddings

Image
*This post was updated July 30th 2015* The service  was delightful. The brides looked divine. The grooms were as handsome as you’ve ever seen them. You made small talk with the mother-in-law, buried your face in the order of service when everyone was  hugging , and mouthed hello to someone you vaguely remember from the hag do.  Now, you’re standing in the car park and everyone’s hanging around before the reception, but you don’t have anyone to talk to. Or maybe, you are with people you know. Maybe you’re laughing all the way to the reception until – ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? – You read the place settings only to realise that you’re sitting on a table with people you don’t know. Suddenly, you can’t kick your shoes off under the table; you can’t bury your face in the salmon starter, and you can’t do that party trick with a glass of water, a penny and the tablecloth. Well, you could... Oh, but THANK THE STARS , at least there’s wine. Being polite shoul...
Read more

Should You Invite a Homophobic Relative to Your Gay Wedding?

Image
It doesn’t matter whether you’re planning a straight, gay or bi wedding – families can make things difficult .  LGBTQ couples have the additional headache of deciding whether or not to invite relatives that don’t support same-sex marriage .  It’s hurtful and it adds additional pressure and stress onto what is already a difficult time of planning.  When you’re curating your guest list the question is: should you invite a homophobic relative to your gay wedding?   No – that’s our gut reaction.   If someone can’t give you 100% love and support on your wedding day, then they shouldn’t be there.  For some couples, it’s as straightforward as that.   But it isn’t always that simple, is it? It rarely is when family are involved.  Only you can decide whether or not that person (or those people) deserves to be a guest at your wedding.  You hold the power.  You’re the inviter-in-chief.  But before you make a...
Read more

Guest Who? A Wedding Guest Book with Personality

Image
The Guest book is hardly the highlight of the wedding reception. There's the pressure of writing something thoughtful, something touching, lightly humorous or insightful in the space of a couple of minutes and all  without the luxury of a first draft.  Unless you're some kind of ad hoc Shakespeare , then it's hardly ideal. There's the risk, too, of scribbling some insipid message that's as generic as the  verse  in the Hallmark card you've already deposited in the  wedding  postbox.  But o f course, you don't want to write something too personal. Those penning later entries can't help but flick through previous pages to see what's already been said. Nobody wants what they've written to become a template for what not to write.  That's why we thought we'd share with you something that could spice up your guest book:  the wedding guessing game and guest book – Guest who? (Scroll to the bottom of the page fo...
Read more

Wedding Venue Spotlight: Ashridge House (Wedding Fayre April 8th 2017)

Image
Where: Ashridge House, Berkhamsted, Hertfordshire What: Hotel Capacity: Up to 170 guests for a formal meal with up to 400 in an informal evening reception. Contact:   PWD page                 Ashridge House Website                 Twitter                 Facebook Wedding Fayres: April 8th, 2017 11am to 4pm with a fashion show at 12.30pm and 2.30pm. What we love: If you love history, character and charm, then this could be the venue for you. With a history spanning over 730 years, Ashridge House is placed in an idyllic 190-acre  estate .  This is a venue with more than one gorgeous ceremony space: there's a stunning sweeping staircase in the main hall and a terrace overlooking the beautiful gardens.  You’ll be well looked after, too, with Ashridge House’s experienced wedding coordinators.  There ar...
Read more

Paris: The City of Love as an LGBTQ Honeymoon Destination

Image
What’s the most romantic city in the world? Most people will say Paris even if they’ve never been there. They’ll say it even if they’re single or if they despise romance because it’s an opinion transformed into fact by its re-telling.   Whether or not you think that Paris is THE city of love, it’s believed to be true by the countless couples who add their padlocks to the railings on the Pont Des Arts. And isn’t French known as the language of love? The cuisine is often the first port-of-call for those looking for a romantic meal and what of the cosy cobblestone streets of Montmartre? Paris is a city made for handholding, for sunset cruises, for champagne and croissants by the river and for proposals and for love. Of course, we couldn’t possibly comment on the reputation of the French as exception lovers; we’ll leave that one to your imaginations (or experience). There’s no doubt that Paris is a popular honeymoon destination but how safe and how suitable is it ...
Read more

Wedding Favours: 5 LGBTQ Charities to Donate to

Image
The average wedding costs around £27,000 . Couples could be forgiven for thinking that an invitation is favour enough without adding a small gift on top.  Wedding planning is stressful and shopping around for trinkets and tokens to add to place settings can seem an unwelcome drain both on time and budget.  But favours are still popular.  They do make a cute addition to the tables at the wedding breakfast, too, when they’re chosen to complement the reception's overall aesthetic or theme. One of the biggest trends in recent years has been serving retro sweets and chocolates as wedding favours. Sweetie carts and jars where you fill your own bags are a regular feature at receptions and are popular both with younger and older guests.  It’s easy enough to find out which sugary treats are fan favourites; you can read the results of a recent survey on the nation’s favourite candies and chocolates here. But is there still a place for the traditional...
Read more