Who Walks Down the Aisle at a Gay Wedding?

Wedding traditions remain an important component of many gay and most straight wedding ceremonies.

So who walks down the aisle at a gay wedding? 

The short answer? 

Whoever you want.

What you choose to do and celebrate within your own wedding should be entirely up to you and your partner. Tradition shouldn’t be seen as something that must be adhered to or – in the case of LGBTQ ceremonies – adapted mindlessly. 

One of the best things about planning a gay wedding is that there are plenty of opportunities to customise both the ceremony and reception to reflect your own individual personalities. The important thing is not to let family or friends who are fixated on what’s traditional to unduly influence what it is that you want to do on your big day. 

Some people just don’t have the imagination for anything other than a cookie-cutter ceremony. You might hear people saying things like:

You CAN’T see each other before the ceremony

You HAVE to have a three-course wedding breakfast

But you HAVE to have a wedding cake.

You’ve GOT to invite children

You’re brides! Which one is wearing THE DRESS?

Your father HAS to give you away.

Incidentally, you can hear that kind of thing if you’re in a heterosexual relationship, too. People can really get stuck in tradition.

The only part of a wedding that’s a vital component is the legal part – everything else is just window dressing. Have fun, be adventurous or be traditional – it’s your day, after all.  

Who Walks Down the Aisle in a Gay Wedding?

LGBTQ relationships are all different.  

Some – however – might follow traditional gender roles more obviously. For example, a lesbian couple might be made up of one person associating more with masculine gender.  Perhaps, the other partner is more female.  In that case, you might prefer to follow tradition and have one wait at the front and one approach down the aisle as a bride and groom might.

Other same-sex couples prefer to enter together.  This is certainly what we’ve seen becoming popular.  Given that fewer same-sex couples are spending the night before the wedding apart, it makes sense.  Bride and bride or groom and groom get to experience the build-up and enter the ceremony – the beginning of married life – together is a beautiful nod to the joining of two people.

One of the most obvious choices is that you walk down the aisle separately one after another.  This works really well with a first-look photo shoot that could happen immediately before the ceremony whilst the guests are in their seats.  If you don’t want a first-look, then you could ask the venue or supervise each entrance so you don’t get a sneak peek.

If the venue is able to accommodate it, you could try for two aisles with each person walking down one towards the other. This way you both get to see each other approaching.

You might also prefer both being at the front when the guests file in. This would work well in smaller intimate ceremonies.

For some couples working out who walks down the aisle and who waits at the front will be easy. For others, it’ll be a conversation about who is comfortable being the centre of attention for that short time period. Other couples will have no doubt in their mind that they have to enter together or separately but simultaneously.

Find what works best for you and what best reflects who you are as a couple.

Once you’ve picked your entrance arrangements, it’s time to think about who will be escorting you down the aisle. But that’s another post for another time...

How did you and your partner step into your ceremony and was it an easy decision? 

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